The Bland Leading the Bland

This "unbelievable" video is supposed to show the goodness of a kitty's heart:

What’s the cat doing here? Its tail is up vertically, and it’s butting the dog with its shoulder, both of which are usually interpreted as friendly, social behaviors.

Does this look like the cat is trying to guide the dog, in an unbelievable show of understanding? Not so much. When the dog starts to veer towards the car, the cat doesn’t do anything.  If anything, kitty is being kind of annoying, insistently butting in between the dog and whoever is holding the camera. If there’s anything unbelievable about the video, it’s that the little dog doesn’t seem to mind! 

In short, what’s happening in the video is: nothing. It’s just a local cat trying to say hi to a dog, who is following its owner and not really paying kitty any attention. Meh.

Reading Into Things

The Dodo, surely our favorite source of questionable material, picked up on this video from the Humane Society of Missouri recently, about a creative new program that's supposedly benefiting kids and dogs alike: 

It’s really great to see shelters trying to make themselves into welcoming, educational places for kids–let me get that straight first of all. However,  this video isn’t showing many dogs that look like they’re getting much out of the experience. I'll go through chronologically:

Two of the dogs in the second shot are clearly barking at the window; very definitely no relaxation for those guys. 

The tan and white bully type, in the front between 0:21 and 0:29 almost seems like it’s adorably trying to follow along with the words, but look how still he is.  The dog is staring, with a half-bowed head and tense front legs—all in all, probably not a picture of relaxation. 

The black and white one is exhibiting classic signs of stress - we can see panting, pacing around the room, looking around, and yawning. Again, the behavior suggests a dog who is not having a chill time of things.

And the last dog, with the cone—fast asleep, so who knows? Dogs sleep when they’re recovering, when they’re relaxed, and also when they’re highly stressed. It’s impossible to tell which of those is happening, so again, this isn’t showing us much.

Getting kids involved in learning about dogs is a great thing, but placing them outside their habitats and having them make incomprehensible noises without interacting with the dogs seems like it’s more likely to be a stressful experience than a calming one. 

Husky Backpack

This is probably the weirdest video I’ve come across in a while. It’s supposed to be a husky that prefers piggyback rides to regular walking:

There are several confusing things about this video —not least of which, whoever heard of a husky that doesn’t want to walk? Aren’t they supposed to be bred to go go go?

Well, in theory any dog can be a lazy, demanding jerk, so let’s leave that to one side. We actually have a much bigger problem with this video, namely, that it’s not all the same video. It’s two completely separate events stuck together. The first “scene”, by a busy road, shows the husky jumping about on its leash, which is pretty normal for an excitable dog. In the second, at what looks like a creek bed, the dog’s owner picks him up and carries him past another dog. Somehow, the man has managed to be in a completely different location, in a completely different pair of trousers, between 0:11 and 0:12. 

My suspicion, with no real evidence, is that the husky is difficult to handle around other dogs—we can see him staring at the black dog walking past—which is why its owner has gotten into the habit of hoisting it onto his back. Whether the husky enjoys it or not, we’ll never know. 

Sneaky Weenie

Here’s a dachshund that’s supposedly demonstrating a flair for the theatrical - lulling her friend into a false sense of security by pretending to be asleep until she has a chance to share a toy.

MI6 should probably hold off sending their recruiter, however, because this dog is not a future secret agent. She’s actually giving us a pretty great demonstration of how to respond to something called Resource Holding Potential.

The big dog is having a great time with the toy, but the little dog wants it. However, it’s pretty clear that she’s not going to get it by asking nicely - she tries, but the big dog moves to cover the toy with her body, and gives her a bit of side-eye into the bargain. These are ways to tell the dachshund to back off. The dachshund responds by yawning, which is a calming signal. The conversation is going like this:

“Toy! Yay, I’m biting it! Wheeeee!”

“Can has?”

“No. Mine.”

“But what if it was….maybe mine instead?”

“Nope. Not happening. My toy.”

“Okay, okay. Chill. I’m going over here. Enjoy your stupid toy”

When it seems like the big dog might be done with the toy, the dachshund gets right back in there - but alas, she’s jumped the gun! Once again, the big dog makes it clear that she’s pretty invested in keeping it all to herself, and once again the dachshund makes the smart choice. 

The little dog might not be a candidate for covert ops, but she’s definitely got great social skills!

Kids Riding Dogs: Rode-uh-oh....

There are a lot of videos of kids riding dogs in the wilds of the Internet. So many that if I wanted to comment on them all, it would be a full-time job - at least for the six hours I would last before tearing all my own hair out and running naked into the forest. 

To preserve the already fragile remnants of my sanity, then, I’ve taken one compilation video as a representative sample of all the videos of kids sitting on the backs of dogs in the known universe. 

This video is a reference guide of ways a dog can tell you it’s not feeling happy. Look at the fourth dog in the video, between 0:36 and 0:57. He’s pretty much the poster child for politely requesting you get the hell off. We see lip licking, “whale eye”, tight lips, yawning, looking at the handler, briefly licking the child - all classic stress signals in dogs. This handy poster by artist Lili Chin handily doubles as a Stressed Dog Bingo card. Unfortunately, the only prize is a bite in the face….

Physically, dogs have not evolved to cope with downwards pressure on their backs. Their muscles aren’t capable of withstanding the force of a giggling, wiggling, bouncing child; it can cause muscle pulls and tearing, leading to pain. Do this enough times, and you’ll give the dog back problems. It will be in constant pain. Try to sit a kid on a dog that you don’t know is in pain, and well, I’m sure you can guess how that might end up.  

If there’s an instance of a human sitting astride a canine that isn’t covered in this video, it doesn’t matter. All possible dog-riding permutations are entirely, 100%, a Very Bad Idea. 

Ducklings: The Ugly Truth

Recently, The Dodo published an article about a pair of littermates who “love” a pair of ducklings.

(Ah, the Dodo. Remember when they used to be cool?)

The first video is supposed to show one of the dogs being “protective” of the ducklings:

Is that happening? Nope. The dog is staying very still, ears back, brows furrowed, sometimes looking away. These aren’t behaviors we’d expect to see in resource guarding; they’re more like avoidance behaviors. The dog looks like he’s been put in a down-stay and instructed to leave the ducklings alone. He’s not doing anything that would suggest guarding - he’s not really doing much of anything at all. 

The second video is supposed to be “playing”:

What about this video looks like play? None. The dog is just lying there, on his side, motionless. Even when the ducks are pulling at his ear, this dog might as well be comatose. If the dog were playing, we’d expect to see play bows, sniffing, nudging - we’d expect to see something, at least! This behavior looks like two cues - “settle” and “leave it”. 

Clearly, these dogs are very well-trained. It’s not easy to resist something so deliciously bite-sized. And, they might be having a good time practicing impulse control - hopefully there’s a reward in it for them when the filming is over. But these videos are not evidence of a warm and fuzzy bond with their new adopted family members. 

Original posts: Life of Pikelet Facebook page 

A Real Howler

Here’s a husky supposedly “comforting” a squalling baby.

Does the dog look particularly concerned about the baby’s wellbeing? Nope. He’s making a noise because the baby is making a noise, and that’s what huskies do. 

Northern breeds like huskies often find themselves howling when they hear other howl-like noises - anything from pianos to fire trucks can set them off. It’s an example of social facilitation. If there’s a more obnoxious howling noise than a baby crying, I haven’t heard it yet. 

Why did the baby stop crying? No idea. Could be related to the strange new noise the husky is making, or it could be because it’s been crying for a while and nobody seems to be doing anything. We just don’t know. What we do know is that dogs don’t really give a crap about babies. 

Original video post: https://www.facebook.com/greenyatra/videos/1104096156307224/